i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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