i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
