How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
