If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
