I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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