Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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