Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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