we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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