Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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