I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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