I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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