What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Welp...herpes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
