I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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