I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
