i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
