i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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