random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
