u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
