Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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