I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
