I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
