This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My life is pants optional.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
