After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
