OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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