Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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