Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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