He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
