I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
