I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
