How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
