he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
