I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
