two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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