Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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