Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
