Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
