I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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