I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
