Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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