I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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