we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Mom said you looked used
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
