dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize