Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize