Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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