We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
