next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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