if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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