paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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