he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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