That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You pole danced in your parka.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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