Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
