; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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