Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
