he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
