Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize