no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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