peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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