jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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