I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
