if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
