I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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