why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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